Some random thoughts

I really enjoy spending time with Abby. She is just at a really fun age. Her vocubulary is getting stronger and stronger every day. She's like my own personal parrot.

Lost it at breakfast typing an email to my girlfriends. Thankfully I can play the emotional pregnant lady card.

Getting really overwhelmed by the amount of organizing and odd and ends I need to tend do. I have to take care of my chemo schedule, Abby's schedule, nanny's schedule, extra help schedule, pregnancy schedule, accupuncture and exercise schedule, vitamin and supplement schedule, extra hygiene stuff, new diet regime, regular food for fore the family, along with the regular household bills and errands. 

David and I go to CVS with Abby and get some of the new stuff, we go home Lindsey arrives and we go to smart-n-final and the petfood store. I just stock up and everything. Fishy won't ever be hungry again.

It's already 1PM when we get home...ugh. This causes me stress.  I need to keep the stress DOWN! What a weekend to give Roxana the weekend off. Abby usually naps by now but I have to get her lunch and me lunch too. She eats and then I put her down. I rock her to sleep before I put her in her crib and she tells me "nite nite"... As I rock her I am wondering if I still will be able to rock her to sleep with the Port in my arm. I sincerely hope I can figure this out. I come down to have lunch myself and realize that I now can't take a nap since I have a 2:45 massage and need to leave by 2:15 to get to MDR. (It's where my favorite therapist is working today and it will be worth it). 

Now, anywhere I go I notice hair. Everyone has a lot of hair. For some reason I am noticing my own hair even more. The feel of it cascading down my back, touching my shoulders, falling out from behind my ear and the weight and warmth of it.  I can't sugarcoat that not having hair on my head is going to majorly suck. SUPER SUCK.  I have decided to wear my hair long and down until it starts to fall out. Then in about 2 weeks when it starts to clump and fall out, I'm going to Piny and he's going to shave it all off.  This really scares the bejeesus out of me. I've always had such long, healthy hair. WTF.

Finishing my lunch now but thought I'd take a moment to share with you all (and really take the time to compose myself and my thoughts).  Wanted to get some random thoughts down too. The reality of this is really starting to hit me now.