Dogs. Dogs for Sale. 50 cents a dog.

The title is a play off of "Caps for Sale", one of Abby's bedtime books...as if you didn't know that already but just in case.

Berkeley (pronounced "Bark-lay" but spelled like my alma mater and our honeymoon hotel in London, Berkeley) has some issues. He's always had a sensitive demeanor and stomach and definitely has the "second" dog syndrome. He's just so needy. And when you have other things on your plate the last thing you like to see is a sad, anxious dog...it makes you feel guilty. Ugh, ugh, ugh. He needs a home where he can be in someone's lap all day long, get taken for long walks, and fed ground lamb for dinner. That's just not happening for him at the Berman household.  Meesh needs to adopt him!

Monday he snuck into the media room, which is Abby's playroom, and right in front of me, squatted and took a piss on the corner of the antique rug. Little piss-pot! Arrggggh. Then he's not been eating his food in the morning. Stomach issues possibly but also he is just a picky brat who wants something other than dog food. Too bad.  Anyway, this morning I go downstairs and see Charlie but not Berkeley. Berkeley!?!?!  I hear him trot down the stairs from the gym. Uh oh! I run up to the gym and the little piss-pot peed on one of the exercise balls in a huge puddle on the floor. I seriously don't have time for this crap. Someone please come take him to live with you. I'll only ask for 50 cents. But you can't take Charlie. Charlie's my boy! David gets so mad when I say stuff about giving Berkeley away. He thinks I'll be real upset if something happened to him. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he'd be in a better place. Yikes, just listen to me. I'm terrible!

So on the dissapointing news front...my wish to delay the inevitable and pretend like I might be in the 1% of Chemo patients that don't lose their hair has been seriously compromised. Piny (the wig guy) is leaving for vacation for two weeks starting next week. They called me today to schedule me for Saturday. This means my $3,000 bargain wig is ready! The next time I was planning on seeing him was 10 days after Chemo to shave my head. I was regarding it so nonchalantly but if my dreams are any indication I am not prepared for this. Sunday night I dreamt that I kept waking up and my hair was falling off in clumps on my pillow. I dreamt that 4 or 5 times that night. And since then I have been scrutinizing any flake or hair that falls off my head. Ugh. The nurses and other cancer patients suggest that when your hair starts to fall out that you just take the reigns and shave your head. It is a lot to deal with psychologically to take a shower or wake up and have huge clumps of long hair fall out. Instead, it is best to nip it in the bud.  Basically, now my anxiety has been given a violent shift to reality since I now am seeing Piny this Friday. (Which is Day 8 not Day 10 after Chemo!)

We had a joint session with Pam today and she suggested a short cropped cut. I kept thinking about that. She also suggested that I wear a scarf around my head for a little bit each day so Abby gets used to it.  If only I could figure out how to tie one around my head without my ears protruding out that would allow me to look very Jackie O.  I'll need to get some huge fabulous sunglasses. I have now decided that I am going to go Pixie with my hair Friday so Piny can take the remnants and make the "halo" hair pieces with my long locks.  By the way, I did look up Locks for Love and apparently it is Florida based so I don't think I would get quite the dramatic and charitable feel shaving my head then fed-exing the dead hair off. Plus they are using the hair to help cancer patients and I'm one now so I figure I'll just cut out the middle man and help myself with my own locks. Sound good? Vizhier is bringing over some Disney dress-up wigs for Abby so we can explore the world of dress-up and the fact that wigs aren't scary at all since Princesses wear them too... :)  I figure having a Pixie "do" will help me get used to not having hair and then when it starts to fall out it won't be as dramatic as with my long, cascading locks that fall to my low back. Say goodbye long hair. I know. Get over it. It's just hair. Oh yeah? Well you try it and then you can point fingers!!!

Tomorrow, Abby's Brentwood Pres toddler class then off to Tower Oncology for my blood work then back to Santa Monica for Dr. Mao at Tao of Wellness. Oh, then dealing with the hair issue Friday.  I'm living life in the fast lane.

Didn't make it to Yoga today. Ann brought over my favorite chicken soup and we had a good talk until Abby started turning into Linda Blair again not wanting to take a nap.  Then I went upstairs and sang some songs with her, she requested I sing "aranya" meaning the itsy-bitsy spider and after a few rounds I put her back in her crib to go to sleep. Holy moly. She started jumping up in down in her crib and screaming like a banshee. Then when I left the room she yanked the camera/monitor off the wall and knocked down her art on the wall as well.  I couldn't believe it. At least I know she's determined and has a very strong will. I went back in and moved her crib away from the wall. I told her it's time for nite-nite and mommy and Abby are going to take naps now. Mommy is not going to come back in until you wake up from your nap. That went over well.  More screaming. Then within 15 minutes she was out like a light. And I crashed too. FINALLY. I took a nap. I actually slept during the day. Hallelujah.  Things are looking brighter.  Abby slept like a log and I had to wake her up at 3:30. She was just fine.  She missed her JAG gym class but who cares. She got to go play with one of her BFF's Harper instead. Score!

Oh yeah, and the painters have been here since Tuesday to repaint windows and siding that has begun to chip. It's should be a great time to paint since it dries fast in the heat. Well...wouldn't you know that with my luck it actually rained a bit tonight!  I just hope that doesn't last.  Last thing I need is for painters to have to delay. Lovely.