Whew. Long couple of days.

Let's run down the checklist from this week:

1. Hair started falling off in clumps Tuesday. I technically could have let it "thinned out" over time since I have so much hair but it isn't the greatest feeling in the world to touch your head or wash you hair and have lots of hair fall out. I decided to just nip it in the bud and go bald.  I started out with a mohawk but that lasted only a few minutes.  Instead I just shaved it entirely and very close to the scalp.  Boy does it feel weird. It's a bit drafty...  Apparently, according to friends (who can be biased of course), I have a nicely shaped head but I still feel awkward flaunting it so I got a few hats in the neighborhood boutiques. Two knit hats and two fedoras and one hat the I am calling my Charles Dickens' "Oliver Twist" hat.  I also need them for the functionality of keeping my head warm.  Thank Heaven that it is chilly and foggy outside so the use of hats doesn't look to conspicuous... 
2. Painters are now done. Abby's room looks like a little girl's room now. Originally for the twins to be in the same room I went for this beautiful neutral toile fabric from Cowtan & Tout with a coordinating striped fabric.  Well, when it became just Abby's room it really looked a little too boyish. Deep pale yellow walls, antique blue trim on her furniture and the striped crib skirts had too much yellow, blue and red in it to really be a girly room.  It has bothered me for some time but still felt that since I spent a fortune on the fabrics I should let it go.  After looking at all the catalogues for Peanut's furniture I got inspired to update Abby's room. I still did not want to spend much though.  I decided on a nice oatmeal gray for her walls (similar to the background color of the toile) and then to pull out the pink animals on the toile I had the painters repaint her trim "cinco de mayo", a pretty dusty rose pink.  It looks awesome.  I am so happy with the results. And it's not too sickly sweet or anything either.  Pat myself on the back, ha ha!!
3. Bug bombing and spraying are all done inside and outside.  Used the three hours we had to be out of the house to take dogs to the Vet for baths and shot updates too. 
4. Landscapers fixed the area near the swing set so we can move the set over and back.
5. Started looking for a part time "mother's helper" to add to our cadre of help so that Mondays and mornings are covered.  They will help me with Abby, run errands to the grocery store, trader joe's, dry cleaners, household issues like calling and managing workers and hopefully help with some food prep.  They won't have so much to do at first but it will ramp up once the baby is here and/or if I have some bad chemo days and really can't do much...  
6. Acupuncture and more chinese herbs.  Check. Scheduled down the acupuncture to once a week to make things a little more manageable.  I bought Dr. Mao's meditation for stress relief CD as well.
7. Second session of Chemo was Thursday.  When I got there they did not like the way my port incision looked.  It has a big dark scab with a red ring of irritation around it.  Well, we all know about the imbecile surgeon who installed the port and my wonderful experience with the surgery. This is just more evidence as to why I have a major beef with Cedar Sinai's Procedure Center.  Both Angela, Head Nurse Practitioner and Dr. McAndrew told me I need to go back to the Procedure Center to have them check it out.  If the port gets infected then they have to take it out. There was some debate as to whether or not they should use the port and finally Dr. McAndrew said to seal off the scab and use the port anyway.  It's the oddest feeling when you hope that you get to proceed with your Chemo session.  Yes, please, pump me with the poison. Please kill all the bad cancer cells in my body and obliterate this 5CM tumor!!  After some delay we got down to business.  The needle was inserted into the port and all was tolerable.  After they started the drips of hydration and the "before Chemo" medications (anti-nausea, anti-allergy, etc.) I was able to have a discussion with Dr. McAndrew.  Can I just say how much I love this doctor. She is beautiful inside and out, so intelligent and knowledgable and has the most comforting bedside manner.  I got all my questions answered and felt so much better.  My friend Maggie, think of a tall, blonde Polish Grace Kelly and super smart (she's a former finance girl too), drove me to Tower for the session. She took scrupulous notes for me while I talked to Dr. McAndrew.  It's very important when you have these doctor appointments to have someone with you as a second set of ears since when you get home you forget half of what they tell you!!  Here is the gist of what we discussed:
1. I am scheduled for FOUR Chemo sessions before Peanut is delivered. My fear of having to have this baby too early is gone. No need for an amnio. No need for a 32-34 week delivery with the potential of NICU time. If the baby wants to come early for natural reasons then so be it.  I will have my fourth session the week of Thanksgiving.  My counts have been good so she figures I can do it a few days early and then after that fourth session take my time, recover and then deliver Peanut 2-4 weeks after that. His due date is 12/27 but it seems like he will be early to mid-December just like Abby.  And if for some reason the baby started coming early like a week after my fourth session, she thinks I will still be able to handle it due to my blood counts.  That made me feel a while lot better!
2. I can breastfeed the baby for 2 weeks or so until I recover from the C-section and have to do the battery of scans to fully check me out... I know it's not much and some people may think "What?!?! You're going to put your baby to breast when you have breast cancer?"... The answer is yes. Abby breast fed for 17 months and that whole time I had breast cancer and didn't know it.  If for some reason any cancer cells were in the milk they die in the stomach.  For me, I just want to have that bonding experience with Peanut.  My favorite thing about breastfeeding is holding them so close to you and cuddling with them. They are so warm and precious.  (Of course all that depends on how long I've had to recover from the fourth Chemo session to delivery so that the drugs have left my system).
3. I do not qualify for any clinical trials of new breast cancer drugs or treatments due to the unique situation of my being pregnant...
4. I do not qualify for "proton" therapy since it is still experimental for breast cancer radiation.
5. I can get a flu shot and I can continue with my pregnancy massages.  My massage therapist also suggested lymphatic drainage massage and Dr. McAndrew said I could do that too but it isn't necessary right now since I haven't had the surgery to remove my lymph nodes. 
6. Speaking of surgery, she thinks I will be fine with a lumpectomy and reduction followed by targeted radiation and tamoxifen (long term hormone therapy) instead of a double mastectomy.  I don't like the idea of taking chances and wouldn't want to cut corners in anyway that could impact my health.  She felt the idea of a prophylactic double mastectomy wouldn't increase or decrease my chance of recurrence since I am not a BRCA gene carrier.