We head off to Pea in the Pod so I can pick up a few items to comfortably make it through the next two months of pregnancy (and hopefully be somewhat stylish). We walk in and the sales woman who helps me is a sweet African American woman, Eve, who is bald. I pick some things and go back to the dressing room. I pick up the front of my wig and tell Eve, "I'm bald under here" and she rubs her head and says "Me too"... We both have a good laugh. She asks why I'm bald and I tell her Chemo for Stage III breast cancer. And she tells me "Stage IV Uterine Cancer"... She just finished her last round of Chemo. We share our stories so what should have been a half hour clothing trip turned into an hour. It turns out that you think your situation is bad but it can always be worse. Eve wants to be a mother and had to, as she says, "have all her plumbing" removed so that won't happen for her without adoption. I know that I am blessed to have a beautiful daughter and a son on the way. For those of you that are praying for me, can you say a prayer for Eve too?
After that my sister and I drove home and I got to spend a short time with Abby before we headed to the wine tasting. I had one sip of wine and it really didn't interest me. What a shame. There were some truly amazing wines being poured. It was a horizontal of about 14 different To Kalon region wines, some really spectacular wines that David got to enjoy. I was such a trooper and thankfully I was able to sit for the majority of the evening because all my friends rock. Thank you to Joe and Lorraine for having us! I received many compliments on my Heidi Klum/Dorothy Hamill/Pete Rose wig. I'm sure I'll be sporting it at many more dinners and events, however for the most part I will go au natural! ;-)
Speaking of au natural, I am still waiting for the manual on baldness. After I got home last night I took off the wig (which was applied with tape which I am sure is NOT great for the fuzz left on my head) and my scalp was a little irritated. When I shower lately I'm not sure how often I should be washing my head so I seem to forget to do it. Sounds horrible but what is there to wash? I decided to wash my scalp nonetheless and saw more breakouts on my head. Ugh. Not happy. That only means I am not washing my scalp often enough or that the stupid hats are irritating my skin. There must be some adjustment period for baldness and I just haven't reached it yet.
This morning I woke up with some energy. Abby woke up on the earlier side but since she's got that runny nose I can't hold her to the "six three oh" rule so we got up early and started our day. We were early for Cafe Vida so we walked over to Coffee bean and got a decaf green tea no sugar added tea latte. They told me that had a Splenda base but really I am going to have to learn how to have tea without almond milk or some kind of milky additive. I have become addicted to milk in my tea. It's so warming and comforting. Anyway, Sharon blasted me since I'm just adding unnecessary sugar. Plus Abby loves it my way too so I'm giving her extra sugar she doesn't need either. Blah blah. Can't I just have one thing that isn't too bad and I can use like a treat? Abby gets some of my tea in her own little cup and it is the cutest thing ever. She's walking in her gray UGG boots with her cupcake beanie hat from Auntie Trish while holding and sipping her tea latte. When did she grow up?!?!?! All of a sudden she's this little person walking and talking and demanding a tea latte. Yikes.
As we walk back to Cafe Vida we see Matt, Maggie and Harper drive by on their way to Vida too. Abby starts screaming "Harper, Harper, Harper" then as we cross the street she says "and Maaaggie", oh she's too cute. She's just letting all these words come out and now she's talking in sentences too. The other morning I told her I was going to play "goolie goochie" which is really just my version of the tickle monster. I start pinching my thumbs and forefinger together and say "goolie goochie" and she looks at me and says "Uh oh Momma, no Goolie Goochie"!! I laughed so hard I almost cried.
We had a nice breakfast with them and Peter and Susie joined us too. We had fun. After that I really wanted to go to the farmer's market for some fruits and veggies. I gave David some checks to deposit then I took Abby to the market. She was actually sitting in the stroller seemingly relaxed so I took advantage and left her in there (sitting in the stroller for longer than 5 minutes is a huge feat for Abby). I got to my favorite apple vendor "Ha's farms" and the folk singers were set up right in front of their stand so I parked her to listen while I picked out some fruit. Perfect...until she started screaming, OUT OUT OUT. So fine, she got out and I told her we have to pay so she says "Money". This girl already knows all about money. She took some money and paid the vendor for me. I've always had her "pay" even when she was little and I walked around with her in the baby bjorn. Then she says "thank you"!!
We ran into one of my mommy friends and she says that I look like I am doing well and have good energy. And she's right. I said that I felt good and I did have a lot of energy this morning. After that I went to my next favorite vendor and as I'm standing there I am so overcome with emotion that I start to get teary-eyed picking out some beets. I just felt so happy. Happy to be alive, happy to be with Abby and David, happy to have Peanut in my belly, happy to be fighting breast cancer in the best way I know how, happy to have energy and participate in the world. It just felt nice.
We got home and I finished one of Abby's preschool applications. There was a questionnaire portion to the application so I finessed the answers I had previously worked on a couple nights before. It felt good to accomplish that so I could send it in this week. I like checking things off my list. After that David picked up some yummy salads from Cafe Montana and after eating I fell asleep for about two hours. Or shall I say I crashed? It was really nice to have that spurt of energy in the morning though. And nice to spend all that time with Abby. She really is tiring. Mentally, emotionally and physically exhausting. Lately I can spend about half an hour with her and then I am spent.
This week - tomorrow Agnes, the new morning "mother's helper" starts, I have a the Tower Oncology luncheon and fundraiser with Sharon tomorrow (and get to meet more of the Bosom Buddies breast cancer survivors), more of Peanut's nursery furniture is being delivered, and I think that's it. Tuesday the plumber. Wednesday is acupuncture with Dr. Kumiko. If Abby is better this will also be the week of her getting dressed up for her Toddler groups on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday is Dr. Daly. Then it is Halloween weekend! Kristen's mom Suzanne has already finished LaVerne and Shirley's coordinating sweaters. I can't wait to see them!! We're thinking little circle skirts too. Just in case people don't "get" the LaVerne and Shirley angle, Abby and Francesca will look like coordinating girls in 50's attire.
Abby did not want to go to sleep tonight. She was screaming and crying which is so unlike her. I am preparing myself for either a long night, a same day appointment to the doctor and possibly canceling the luncheon plans, or some combination thereof. She's not had an ear infection before but she's had UTI's in the past so I'm hoping that it's just her being uncomfortable and not wanting to sleep while sick instead of something more serious. She's had the runny nose for days now so I imagine that if it was something more serious it would have presented itself much sooner plus she would run a fever. You see, I'm really getting very good at all this doctor stuff.
That's all folks. I'm praying for good health for Abby. I'm praying for a good week for me since last time in the Chemo cycle this coming Monday - Wednesday were the hardest for me. Oh yeah, shhhh, don't tell anyone but I stopped doing the Rx mouth rinse and went back to the baking soda/salt rinse plus kept the religious L-glutamine 3x a day routine and all has been well. No mouth sores!
Oh forgot to mention that Dr. Newman got back to me within 15 minutes of sending my initial "breast feeding with cancer" question the other day. I guess that peaked his interest. Here is his response (and as a reminder I was comparing my situation to another in his book where he recommended a mother wait to continue Chemo treatment so that she could breastfeed her child for a few months longer):
Dear Mrs Berman,
I am surprised that they would do chemotherapy when you are pregnant. I wonder why they thought that it would be okay to give you these drugs while pregnant and not during breastfeeding. However, we would say that these drugs are not okay during breastfeeding.
The papillary type of thyroid carcinoma is not the same situation as breast cancer. However, it depends on how invasive this cancer is on whether you can wait or not.
However, scans (most), radiation and surgery are not contraindications to breastfeeding. Only the chemotherapy.
Guess that answers that question. Health professionals get so wrapped up in their specialty that they don't really understand other areas of medicine (like why I would get Chemo while pregnant). Anyway, I might get away with a month of breastfeeding. Everything else will have to be donated breast milk or formula. I can breastfeed even when I'm having my scans, although depending on the type of dye (radioactive or not) they use I may have to pump and dump for some portion. That's not a big deal. Once I am schedule to start the Chemo though, the breast feeling will be kaput. Now it's more a question on timing for Dr. McAndrews...
No comments:
Post a Comment