Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Well, let's be honest...

I'm scared for tomorrow but I'm know I'm going to get through this. The amount of love, support, advice, guidance and encouragement I have received lately is making me feel that I CAN DO THIS.

I completed the Walk with Love on Sunday and it was a truly AMAZING day. It was very special to me. First I went to get some balloons for the kids' water table and the florist and I start chatting - I paid for one bunch of balloons and left with two (her mom is Stage 2 about to finish chemo and I was telling her my story). My core team of walkers on my team were David B. Sue B., Lee Jay B. Trish B Denise D. and Courtney J. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! (I'm sorry about the team name Wonder Women since obviously it wasn't all women…I'll need a new name for next year).  I wasn't sure I would be able to do the whole walk but I showed up at the start line and people I really care about just started popping up to walk with me as surprise registered team members - Jen A., Gina C. Maggie C. Matt C. with their two kids, Blake J. Mary and Sarah K... And if that wasn't enough to fill my cup, it certainly runneth'd [sic] over when I saw the kids set up their little lemonade/water/cookie stop in front of our house, full of pink decorations and balloons AND my neighbors painted the most beautiful "GO JESS" sign that brought me to tears. I can't tell you how wonderful it was for me. Walking to raise over $230,000 for the Susan Love Foundation to stop breast cancer. Our team "Wonder Women" raised over $21,000!!!! The best part of the walk was walking up to our house and seeing all the kids hard at work, having fun, passing out their beverages. After the walk was over I came home and laid down to rest. Then I cried. I just start boo hoo'ing and couldn't stop. Happy, warm, thankful tears for my friends and family.  I am so grateful to EVERYONE who donated to our team and who participated in the walk. I also want to sincerely thank my mom and Elizabeth who were behind the scenes with the kids fetching pitchers and pitchers of water and lemonade all morning. Love you Mom. This was one of those special "life moments" for me. I was very emotional. What a big cry baby, huh, all darn day? I know. THANK YOU!!







Yes, I CAN DO THIS tomorrow. Today was a good day. My first good day in over a week since the infusion. I'm hoping that it makes the infusion tomorrow that much easier. I'm getting recovered from the angio/mapping, the first (horrible) round last Wednesday, the liver MRI, and I hate to tell you but a serious case of bowel impaction after Sunday's Walk with Love. I really couldn't tell you which part was worse (the BM issue or the leg pain the night of the infusion are a close tie) but the important thing is that I made it through the HELL of the past week. Over and done!! Stay strong Jess. You can do it!

I felt very good today. I went to acupuncture and had one of those amazing floating down the river experiences. I was able to wake up this morning with the kids and have them both in the bed with me watching Team Umizoomi and cuddling on me, one on each arm. THE BEST. I was able to hold my own at the New Parent Party for Abby's new school in the Fall. I'm not eating but I don't care really. I didn't eat anything at all Monday until a cup of cauliflower soup at dinner. Today I'm feeling the hunger pains but I'm also thankful to not put anything in my GI tract. Ugh. I suppose you could say the timing worked out great… The food at the party smelled divine… Just remember, smells are ZERO calories. It's nice to smell delicious foods and plan what I will be eating for the next two weeks until the second cycle of the infusion starts and I go back to correct fasting one week on/one week off.

I have a very crass sense of humor…my husband generally doesn't appreciate it. I suppose most people don't like fart and poo jokes though! But if you loved the link I sent you about the Haribo sugar free gummy bears, you will appreciate these next two slides from a page I discovered Sunday night (or Monday AM) while in excruciating pain trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me.  I came across this page (at the end of post) and was crying laughing and yelling "is this for real?" "this is hysterical"!! I'm not saying this is what was wrong with me by the way. See "rousseau"'s answer and the part about the hurricane or "is it a bar stool?" or "bbq tongs!"…O.M.G.

Taro Gomi instructs our toddlers through his book "Everyone Poops" that it's a natural process. We all do it. He should also write a book called "Sometimes you don't poop…and that HURTS"…So yes, everyone does it. No one likes to talk about it though. Except if you're under 10 and over 60. Anyway, get over it! Everyone Poops. I sat around Tower Oncology on Monday after an abdomen x-ray, yep, an x-ray for poop to make sure there were no obstructions. The colon was just completed impacted, all the way, no obstructions, thankfully. BUT (no put intended)...they basically told me that I was "FOS" - as in, "full of shit" and then Mary Lou says "We're all just sitting around here…talking shit" No big deal. Anyway, I will tell you that should you ever suffer from impaction this is what was recommended and worked. The cause, by the way: chemo and pain meds. Nothing to do with diet. The cure - magnesium citrate drinks (given to people before a colonoscopy), mineral oil, lidocaine, and/or glycerin suppositories.

Happy pooping everyone!!!








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