in the final hour i decided against the hickman line. or a PICC line. i am tired of having foreign objects in my body. seriously. although i do have an expander in my formerly-known-as left breast. anyway, remember how excited i was about the fact that no one would be poking my port again? so why would i want another catheter?!?! i thought about it and since i'm doing better now the risks outweigh the benefits of having minor surgery to get a catheter. just for an additional 4 more days of a seven day course of iv antibiotics? that's nuts. if i need additional surgery related to the mastectomy i can just get an iv. screw it. all i needed was one more iv (well, actually two but was trying to stretch the one) to finish the iv antibiotics. yesterday and today the iv was hurting. i tried to ignore it but after this morning i decided to just take it out. (thank you sharon!) but even if the iv went bad one or two days early it is at least equivalent to 5 days of antibiotics. dr. hayden said that i can just continue to the pill form antibiotics until i see dr. mcandrew on monday. phew.
also on monday - i get my lupron shot. oh yay for me. something to look forward to. as dr. mcandrew explained one of the next steps in my fight against this breast cancer is to target the hormones. my tumor was estrogen receptor positive. that means estrogen (and stress) are fuel for the fire. she wants to use tamoxifen to shut down estrogen production and she wants to use lupron to tell my brain to shut down my ovaries. sharon came over to drop off food and reminded me that lupron may make me crazy. or actually she said "watch out" cause lupron can make me a raging bitch or so she's heard. oh ugh. i mean how can i be even more of a crazy person that I already am?
turning 35 tomorrow. doesn't feel like my birthday. i do not feel like celebrating anything. i mean how can i properly celebrate anything? i want to pretend it is just another day and chill out. i know it is a "milestone" birthday but i prefer to celebrate my birthday at disneyland with my family like i did last year and i can't do that right now so i'll just pretend it's not happening. i'll have a 35th birthday next year when i turn 36. shhhhhh. i usually use my birthday as an excuse to take stock of my life and reflect on things i have accomplished and make plans for the future. let's hold off on that for a little bit.
i'm lying in bed right now. i still have to lay here so my "boo boo" can continue to heal and so I hopefully won't have to do another surgery to fix the skin. i hope it works.
good things that keep me going are how delicious both abby and leo are every day. leo is humungous. he weighed in at 19.5 pounds and 29.5 inches. he's my little line backer. and my abby gets more gorgeous each day. i love them so much.
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