Woke up with Abby and had breakfast. Agnes came this morning and even though Abby hears the alarm chime "front door open" and she says happily "Aggie, Aggie" she still says "no, no, no, no, no" when she sees her and clings to my leg. Then when Agnes puts on her jacket to take the dogs for a walk she happily says "bye bye" to her. Poor Agnes. She's the sweetest girl. I think Abby doesn't like the hungarian accent or something. Then after Agnes left to take the dogs she started crying hard because she wanted to go. Is this a preview of life with her as a teenager? Oh boy.
Dolores the new nanny also started today. It was a full house but I wanted all hands on deck so I could go to the breast cancer breakfast...
So went to Popover breakfast sponsored by the Bosom Buddies and Tower Cancer Research Foundation at Neiman's this morning. Got a makeover. Met some amazing women. Got bummed out by the women who have lost their struggle. Don't like hearing those stories right now!!!
Got my wig washed at Piny's. After showing me my halo hair lines last time he couldn't find them this time. Waited there an hour and was irritated. And tired. And thirsty. And uncomfortable. Now he has to find the halos and I'll have to go back again when he does. Wig looks brand new again though...
Went to Clementine and ran into Caryn, another preggers Mom whose daughter Ella took swim lessons with Abby. Then ran into Renvy, Ashley and Meredith. Had a gap of time before my appointment with Dr. McAndrew so went to Renvy's to rest in the "pink" room. Felt like a vacation! Very nice. Got some good rest in and then the stupid mind would not stop thinking. I must learn to clear my mind.
Went to Tower. Blood Count was OK. Hemoglobin was down again but still average compared to most pregnant women so not too alarming. Then I got way overwhelmed when we discussed the coming plan for the remainder of the treatment-----
- Get another ultrasound to remeasure tumor. You can still feel the big lump but it seems smaller and seems to be breaking up but still need to confirm...
- Deliver Peanoodle Peanut
- Scans (Pet CT and Bone Scan) 3-4 weeks after delivery
- Continue Chemotherapy
- Taxol and Carboplatin combo (TBD if it will be administered 4 times once a week in low dosage or 4 times once every three weeks; the risk with once a week is that if my blood counts drop too low then I have to delay treatment until I can get it again)
- Lumpectomy (and reduction, lift, tug, pull, redirect) 3-4 weeks after 4th Chemo session
- Recovery from surgery (forgot to ask timing on that); please oh please don't let me get lymphedema (that would require physical therapy)
- Radiation - 5 times a week for 6-7 weeks
- Tamoxifen - daily pill for 5 years (adjuvant hormone therapy)
Phaaaaq. That timeline has really overwhelmed me. I need some time to let this all sink in. When someone told us that it would be a "shitty" year they weren't kidding. I mean, holy cow. I'm really "in for it" in the coming several months. BUT I will emerge cancer free by the end of the summer and ready to celebrate!!!
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