Spiderman, spiderman.

I just picked up my Louise Hay book "You Can Heal Your Life" to read while waking up from my nap.  And a large brown spider fell out of it that started to crawl down my leg (thankfully I am wearing pants)... I flicked it off and squished it with the book.  Eeeeeek.  What is with me and spiders?  Seriously odd.  I feel bad killing it so violently especially with such a loving book. Oxymoron.  I killed him with a book on healing.  Poor Spidey. But I had no idea if it was a brown recluse so I wasn't taking the chance to just let him roam freely in my room.  Wonder what Louise Hay would say about that???

I've been resting. A lot.  I slept almost the whole day on Saturday.  I really needed it.  I still do not have much energy.  The energy I have is spent with the kids, of course, and then my new project of purging.  I am going through the house and organizing and purging.  If I haven't used it in the several years that we've lived here then I am probably not going to use it in the future.  My sister was here yesterday and I was telling her about the stuff I have collected over the years. Knick knacks and other things that I don't use or that used to be on tables or shelves but are instead in the garage or hidden away in cabinets or drawers...now I want the house more simple, more clean, more bare. I don't want to open a drawer and have stuff tumble out or not be able to organize the kitchen because I'm storing party supplies I'll never use. She joked and said that she expected to see me on an episode of Hoarders - Buried Alive soon...to which I laughed and told her No...I purge so I can make room for more.  There's a difference.  Ha ha ha.

That process of purging is something the feng shui expert told me to do.  You should only have things in your house that you love, that make you happy, that have special meaning to YOU.  Even if someone gave you something as a gift you shouldn't feel the need to keep it around.  The thought of that gift was very much appreciated.  Now it's time to see if you really want it or if you are just keeping it to make someone else happy in case they come over and see it.  That's not the purpose of the gift was it?  If it was then that is a gift of obligation and you don't need it!  

David and I have the Amangani booked for four days.  My first small trip away from Leo.  It is going to be a wellness trip where I ride horses every morning, spa, hike, yoga, and connect with my hubby. We also may hot air ballon and tandem paraglide.  I will miss the kids badly but I also really need to get away and reward my body for the hell it's gone through.  It's time to start a new chapter in my life.  The well chapter. Amen.

I now really want to start living my life and assembling my "bucket list"...I don't want to take any trip for granted. I want to make the most of each and every day.  While that may be exhausting, it really is the best way for me to live my life.  There is power in the present moment.  Each day I do something I can go to sleep smiling about.  That may be kissing Leo on the lips (aka making out with him!!!), blowing raspberries on Abby's tummy and recalling her girly giggle, sitting down and spending several minutes cuddling and snuggling with the dogs, oh and then maybe some time talking, laughing or cuddling with David.  Ha ha ha. Didn't mean to make him last.  It's also feeling good about sending a friend or a family member a quick message "hello" just for nothing. Or working hard in physical therapy and loving my body for being so miraculous.

Are you staying well my friends?  Are you cleaning your mental house as well as your real house?  Are you telling those close to you that you love them? Are you telling yourself that you love you?

I love you.  Thank you for being here for me.