General Manager of the Universe

Did a ton of dental work today. Full mouth x-rays. Full exam. Guess what pregancy caused - TMJ and bite shifts that are causing me to clench and get lock jaw. Lovely. Also need to add some composite to a molar with root exposure. That meant running errands afterwards with my face half frozen and numb. I am not joking.

I'm up way past my bedtime. Paying bills and stuff. Getting ducks in a row again...that kind of thing.  It makes me feel good when I can cross things off my list. Check. Check. Check.

It's funny, Louise Hay says she enjoys paying her bills. That she kisses each bill as she seals the envelope.  She feels good that she has the means to pay those bills and she is grateful that companies/people give her the ability and credit to pay on terms. At first I thought she was looney. But now there is a lot of truth in what she says. So pay your bills and be happy.

Oh, but man oh man, do not look at your retirement account right now. Or if you believe in dollar cost averaging then buy, buy, buy. See if you need to diversify your portfolio and pick off some equities on the cheap. 

The markets, the LA riots in London, the assasination of heroic soldiers, school massacres, tsunamis, global warming, and more and more and more. There is much to make us feel very ANXIOUS. There is a lesson for all of us to learn regardless of being ill or not. How does worrying about something that hasn't happened yet help anything?  (I'm talking to you Grandma!).  It's fine to PREPARE for the worst and HOPE for the best but don't dwell on it anymore than you have to.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes about worry, anxiety and fear.

1. Do not put off for tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
3. Cross that bridge when you come to it.
4. Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~Benjamin Franklin
5. Troubles are a lot like people - they grow bigger if you nurse them.
6. Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. ~Mary C. Crowley
7. He who fears he shall suffer, already suffers what he fears. ~Montaigne
8. For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe. (MY PERSONAL FAVORITE)

Anyway, I happened to catch up on the motherswithcancer blog and there was a lovely post from "mommy doctor" in response to a woman posting about ANXIETY. I loved her response. I didn't know the medical aspect of sleep and anxiety, how we are more vulnerable to our thoughts at night. Hmmmmm. 

Dear Judy,
Since my diagnosis, I’ve worked hard to learn how to deal with the losses and heightened sense of vulnerability and uncertainty.
After a few years of living in and out of cancer treatment, I was able to do a pretty good job of focusing on all that was right in my life, keeping at bay all my anxieties, fears, sadness — during the day.
It was a completely different story at night, during the transition to sleep. All the fears and sadness would resurface in the dark, quiet of the night as I relaxed to fall asleep.
I understood this to be due to the loss of all the distractions and busy-ness of the day.
Also, the brain works differently when falling asleep, leaving us more vulnerable to experiencing feelings we keep at bay using our “higher” cognitive brain during the day.
One thing that may help is, before turning out the light, reading or saying mantras that calm you or gave you courage. Another is writing in a “joy journal” in which you record whatever made you smile or laugh that day.
Lastly, I realized that sometimes I needed to feel the horrible feelings, at least for a while. Only by feeling them could I begin to adjust and grow stronger.
Luckily for me, I didn’t have to endure the unpleasant (sometimes, downright painful) feelings in a lonely corner by myself. I have been blessed with a loving husband and loving friends who told me to call them, if I’m going through a rough spot. At midnight, I rarely did. But knowing I could somehow calmed me and gave me strength.
This blog is here for you 24/7.
Sending you wishes of calm and fortitude.

With hope,

Wendy

All that being said, I have decided to resign my position as General Manager of the Universe.   Time to enjoy more of being present in the MOMENT.

Pleasant dreams everyone.