Here is a note I typed on the airplane ride home:
So thankful for a wonderful trip to Australia. We had the best time. It was nice to get away and be an adult for a while. It's easy to forget what that's like; to only have to worry about yourself for a short time. We missed the kids terribly but we knew they were safe and in good hands with the Grandmothers. It was also nice to forget that I am a cancer patient. I just blended in with the crowds of tourists at the airport, ferries, museums, parks, and events. It's nice to get out of your own head and self-involvement and just BE and just DO whatever you'd like to do. It was a true vacation in that sense and so much more. It was also our nine year wedding anniversary and a time to reflect on where we've been and what we've accomplished in the past 11 years that we've known each other. Over a decade and we can still be friends, that is truly an accomplishment. Laughing is so important to me and David; we can make each other laugh. But hey, looks aren't everything. In all seriousness, to look into someone's soul and know that they know you inside and out and love you unconditionally despite your flaws...well thank the Lord for that. What a blessing to have David in my life. Ok, I'm sure you're gagging now but we are very lucky to have a marriage that we feel is worth working on and holding onto. We all have our faults, of course, marriage ins't always a bed of roses as the saying goes but the best advice I got while dating is to be with someone whose faults you can live with. He lives with the many faults of mine and I tolerate his one or two…
He just read this and said "thank you honey…and I didn't even proofread it for the couple of nits"… See what I mean?!?!?! Hilarious. Thankfully I have a wonderful and wicked sense of humor.
While on Hayman Island we hiked to the top of said island (not very far) but when I reached the top I was overcome with emotion. I had this small story pour through my thoughts and I couldn't wait to get back to the room and write it down.
The shore retreated back with such force that small fish and sea creatures were instantly revealed in small tide pools and exposed areas of coral and sand. It was evident that this was not a dramatic changing of the tides but a forcible disaster manifested by mother nature to the highest degree. They watched this as they neared the top of their island hike and felt the earth begin to shake beneath their feet. They listened with terror as squawking birds and hissing wallabies began to drown out the sound of the sucking ocean. In the distance they saw a wall of water rising against the radiant blue sky with its mocking sun shining down brightly. They dare not say it but they felt an imminent and swift death was possibly seconds away and they were paralyzed. Being at the top of the small island they knew there was no where else to run or hide. All they could do was cling to each other with combined looks of love and desperation. The sobbing became uncontrollable as the overwhelming emotions of fear and certainty grew so large as to quell out all possibility of hope. They couldn't catch their breath. As she turned her head to look away she caught the delicate scent of sweet jasmine, letting it fill her lungs and she remembered her mother. The fragrant and beautiful white jasmine vines climbing the roof of the small house she grew up in that her mother had pruned with such precision and care. She felt strong and grateful. She breathed in the scent deeply and felt the strong embrace of him. All her senses heightened by adrenaline. Yet she became calm. She kissed the corner of his eye where his smile had happy crows feet; produced by a half century of living and loving; half of those years they spent together. "This can't be it" he said. "No, it can't be, I love you. I love you. I love you" she said softly. If only they had more time she thought as the incredible volume of sea water approached and tore them from their embrace.
Health updates:
Starting 7.5mg of afinitor tomorrow. Small mouth sore that I nursed in Australia is now almost gone, small sore on the tip of my tongue (possibly caused by a sharp area on one of my teeth) is sensitive but I hope going away. It's time to get serious. Buck up girl. You're feeling too good which means it is time to bring it on. Go big or go home. Back to being serious about the diet; giving up sugar is damn difficult. There are too many delicious vegan treats. Time to spring off of all the walking and swimming in Australia into a more consistent workout plan.
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