Sunday, May 19, 2013

Latest updates

Major general life updates:
  • We bought a house. Escrow closes end of May and will be vacated June 5th.
  • Eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk!!!
  • We are putting our current house on the market at the end of May.
  • Eeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkk!!!
  • Painting and touch ups need to be done on the new house so we can't move in immediately.
  • We need to keep this house staged with all our furniture anyway.
  • We go away for the whole month of July to East Hampton.
  • Timing of all of this is a little nuts.
My personal health updates:
  • Doing fine on Xeloda still.
  • Dr. McAndrew sent over the addendum to my scans that showed no progression. But the report made me freak out since there was something on there that said something about a new tumor in my liver in some dome that wasn't on the last scan but I think that was from the very first scan before I started treatment. I'm going to call McAndrew on this this week.
  • Tried to get in to see a Cardiologist. Called Dr. Samuels at Cedars but apparently when you leave messages for physicians at Cedars it goes into some void and no one, I mean, no one ever actually calls you back. Ever. I've had this happen at two different offices within Cedars. 
  • Then called a Cardiologist at St. John's, Dr. Natterson. Same thing happened where I didn't get a call back but I left a message with the service so they could have typed the info wrong so I tried again. Finally got a call back but missed the call so I don't have anything scheduled. I am having weird heart palpitations. I want it checked out to get another baseline. I had an echo and ultrasound right after all that radiation treatment and they said it was a strong ticker. I want to keep it that way. 
  • Saw Dr. Childs for a followup. She's a colon and rectal surgeon. That's a fancy way of saying butt surgeon. Lovely. I still have the fissure issue and I want that to go away so I need to get serious about treating it. The one month regimen consists of ointment two times a day and colace once a day. 
  • I know for a fact when I keep my diet clean, VEGAN and alcohol-free I feel amazing. 
  • My mouth sores from chemo went away after a juice fast for two days. Everything flushed out.
  • I now realize that I can no longer drink alcohol. It really doesn't taste great to me and it messes up my system. I will be adding sober to my description of healthy living. I mean, I do have cancer in my liver. It only makes sense not to put anything toxic into it. Clean, clean, clean. Do I want to be having margaritas by the pool and drinks out with friends? YES. But I must have the discipline to just drink club soda with lots of lime and a little pineapple juice to be satisfied instead. I love the social aspect of all of that but not the actual drinking part of it.
  • Lesson learned: "one isn't as cool and interesting as they think they are after a cocktail or two"...can I just say sloppy and unattractive also fits the bill.  
  • I have WAY more energy on the vegan and nutrient dense green juice/smoothie diet. I have less issues with my hands and feet (which are still a constant issue) and more reserves to power through these super stressful, crazy, mommy days.
  • The hands and feet are being managed with nightly application of creams and ointments (I'm loving Dr. Mao's special foot cream, and a special hand cream from whole foods) that are then soaked in over night while wearing socks and gloves. 
  • Yoga is really helping. I have been way to busy with kids and prepping this house, plus inspections on the new house to do things for myself. 
  • I still need to make myself the priority. Easier said than done. Like my yoga guru said "yes, you are too capable and when you are overly capable it makes it hard for others to 'DO anything' for you" - I am practicing this in the coming week: 1) Letting go 2) taking care of myself and 3) letting others do things for me. I wish other people would get the message about #3 but I can't use hints I have to start asking for things directly. 
  • I WAY, WAY, WAY overdid things this passed week getting the house ready for photos. I then went out on Friday night very late and had way too much wine. My body is paying for it. I feel some mouth sores coming on. I will have to juice fast again and get back to my CLEAN diet.
  • The house looks amazing so now I can just sit back and relax while the kids destroy it again until the first caravan and open house when I will get crazy OCD again to make everything perfect. (OK, my yoga guru told me NOT to do this. That the right person will want this house even if there is a kids toy around here and there. I have my fingers crossed that it will be true so then I an let go of that OCD tendency to want everything PERFECT...ugh, need to Let Go.)
  • Let's not forget how helpful all the deep breathing is...
  • I want to get back into an exercise routine. I really miss ballet.
  • Never posted this photo on my blog and I need to motivate myself.
Kids updates:

  • Leo is very happy. He is very delicious. He is also showing some signs of terrible two's but I try to let that be. I have to remember that just because I want him to walk and climb and run, I have to be happy that he seems content and is making wonderful progress each day. He IS walking and getting more and more confident with the help of his theratog, orthotics and other devices. 
  • Abby is entering the "f-ing fours" and I am not kidding. I try to be present for her and give her love even when I want to ring her neck but it is soooooo hard sometimes. She is so grouchy lately and approaches every thing with a sour demeanor. I keep trying to tell her to approach old and new things with a happy face. Like trying new foods. Instead of saying "I won't like that" how about saying "let me try one bite, maybe it is amazing!" That is a work in progress. She is also constantly using her hands instead of her words so all darn day long it is "Abby please use your words, not your hands" or "Abby please use your big girl voice" because she is reverting to baby talk. Ugh. Baby talk is annoying as heck. Leo has a better vocabulary than her right now. Anyway, we are working on that. She is so precious and beautiful. And at times, when she isn't snatching something out of my hand or using a whiny baby voice she will shock me with some crazy, cool kid wisdom or opinion that makes me laugh or fill up with love.


That's all for now. Sending everyone (including myself) love and light.

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