Recovering

At home after the surgery Monday and everything is looking pretty good. I am thankful. I am feeling at ease. I had to keep my drains in over the weekend but should have them out tomorrow, Monday at Dr. Hayden's office.

Basically last week went like this: woke up Monday morning, took a Valium (Dr.'s orders), checked in at Westside surgery center, met the anesthesiologist Dr. Saks, barely remember talking to Dr. Hayden while she drew with thick black marker all over my chest and abdomen, Dr. Saks (not the warmest bedside manner) tried to start the IV, didn't work then 2nd time was the charm, felt warm liquid then lights out, woke up in a daze, took a town car to Serenity 8 hours later, went to sleep, they woke me up in the middle of the night to make me eat something, take antibiotics and give me a Demerol shot. Holy hell. Slept for 2 days straight after that, except to eat, use the restroom, take pills and get a second Demerol shot. Spent two more, very much needed nights there and then came home because I missed my darling children TOO much and just had to hug, squeeze, kiss and smell them, (not necessarily in that order). Since then I've been recuperating at home alternating between the master bedroom and the gym (a la guest apartment where I feel totally secluded).

That second day, David came in around 8 or 9 in the morning (I am laughing about it so hard right now typing this) and he sat in the lounge chair in my room trying to be quiet while I slept, put down his briefcase, then started reading the paper --- I woke up, looked at him through slanted eyes and slurred something like "What ARE you doing HERE?!? So he left. LMAO. Apparently he tried to come back another TWO times that day but I was still sleeping off and on and the timing was never right. Poor Guy. He has a heart of gold.  I still find it hilarious though. I was thinking ---[Um, honey, why don't you wait for me to just call you when I'm ready for a visit? I have nurses round the clock here on call at the push of a button. I am fine...really]---but that is exactly what someone in love does. They want to be there for the person they love. Noisy newspaper and all. Love you right back David.

I got lots of wonderful texts, voicemails, emails, and flowers from supporters and I felt great (Thanks Ash, David, and Mom). This time around was 150 (not 180 entirely) degrees different than that first surgery. No transfusions, no bald head, no being weak from Chemo, now granted I'm not bouncing back as fast as a normal healthy person but I am so thankful to be as strong as I am right now.  Abby is even enjoying helping me clean and record my drain output. Ohhhh laaaaaa laaaaa, that's so spectacular (that's a fancy word for awesome).  Paging Dr. Abby Berman.

I'd like to close with an inside joke "I look forward to our bright future together" too.

Congratulations to all the amazing runners in the Los Angeles Marathon. I was feeling inspired!

XOXO

LMAO

This is very true. All you breast cancer fighters and survivors will laugh at this video... I did!

Woo hoo!

So...here I am typing to you from the beautiful Las Ventanas al Paraiso in Cabo San Lucas. I am here. I have defied Doctor's orders to stick around and be a pathetic fixture waiting at home to see if I can get my surgery. We cancelled this trip twice already because I was supposed to have the surgery two different times and even though I was given the 3/12 tentative surgery date I told David "book it" because I didn't think it was likely the surgery was going to happen since 1) my blood doesn't want to cooperate and 2) there's nothing I can "take" to heal my blood except time so why live my life as a lady in waiting? And what perfect way to heal my blood than with a little R&R without kids in a beautiful setting?

This has been quite a week. Tuesday I went to get my blood work done at Dr. McAndrew's office (going to call her Dr. McA as one of my commentators Sandra said, I love it). Guess what, they had a hard time finding the vein again. Annoying. Then one of the nurses Susana tells me that I need to wait for my results so I can see Dr. McA. I love all of these nurses and lab techs, they are really awesome, even when they poke me wrong or twice (not the person that poked me three times though). Ominous. She lead me into a room and I ask Claudia, McA's nurse what my results were and she says that they are still low. 2.1 for the white count again. F*ck. I was ready for Dr. McA to read me the riot act and tell me to get lost but instead she looked at my numbers and says, "the numbers aren't great but since we ran all the other tests for bleeding and clotting disorders and they all came back normal I am clearing you for surgery"... And then the clouds parted to reveal the bluest sky with a radiant sun whilst the angels sang a sweet melody of pure joy.

I heard only half of what she said after that point but something about my white blood count being low but having enough neutrophils to be able to fight off an infection. She also gave me the go ahead to come to Cabo with the promise of hand washing, sanitizing and bactroban nasal inserts to protect me from germs.  I was ecstatic!!! Yes, I'm taking a risk getting on an airplane but its not like I'm going to some third world country, it's Cabo and at an amazing resort. I did shorten our trip to come back home Saturday instead of Sunday because IF I was able to have the surgery I want to spend the whole day before with my precious babies.

So this all worked out. I'm having the surgery Monday at 8AM, I get to come to Cabo to recharge the battery, and then go home and have a day with the kiddos before the surgery. I'm stoked!!