False Alarm

Over the weekend I came down with a cold...or shall I say I caught one of the kids' colds. Abby was sick then got better then Leo got sick and got better (or maybe not). Now both David and I are sick and Dr. Hayden won't do my surgery until I am back up to 100%. What's a girl to do? I have little germ magnets. I see Barbara this Wednesday to decide if I get to schedule the surgery for next week or the following week. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I just want to get this over with. I was really looking forward to a vacation too. A vacation to think only about me (even though I would be in a good amount of pain). I love my kids and all... But oh....not to constantly take care of everyone else sounds wonderful. I know that sounds terrible but it is true. I was fighting this cold over the weekend and guess what I did? Rest and eat chicken soup that someone lovingly made for me? Nope. I made broccoli soup for everyone. I then shuffled Abby around to birthday parties until finally my body said, "Uh huh!!!" sometime early Sunday afternoon. I missed an awesome Super Bowl Party. Today I schlept Abby to and from school, kept the ballet lesson I forgot to cancel but would've paid for anyway, met the awnings guy, called the black out shades guy to come fix stuff, went grocery shopping, made chicken soup and here I am. Tonight I should be resting as well but know what I'm doing? Paying bills and organizing the calendar. Plus Leo keeps waking up since he can't sleep from teething. Just another ordinary day for any mom of two I suppose. (Oh except for that stupid breast reconstruction thingy). Do I sound bitter? I think so. I sure am angry, angry, angry these days and I don't know how to handle it. Thankfully I am going to see the therapist tomorrow, I'm sure Pam will help me manage things better. I've been trying to positively think my way out of my anger but I can't seem to make it work. Sorry to dissapoint Louise Hay. I wonder if she has a book for young people with cancer managing two kids, a house and a husband. I'll have to look that up and buy it. Nighty night!